Mr. Mohawk
HELLO
Mr. Mohawk
I read Harry Potter.
Brooklyn
Member Of...
I Heart These...
Feats Completed
- Social Workout Challenge: New Years Edition:
- Home Workout
- Take A Bath
- Pimp Your Bed
- D.I.Y. Feat
- The One Thousands
- Sleep Log
- Go Fish
- Locavore
- Jan Plan Plus
- Home Food
See all feats for Social Workout Challenge: New Years Edition- Emergency Holiday Challenge:
- Unspike the Punch
- Historic Dancing
- Box on Boxing Day
- Family Oriented
- Sweat Sacred
- Stocking Stuffer
- Spread the Word
- Walking on Christmas
- Naughty Flogging
- Divine Singing
- See all feats for Emergency Holiday Challenge
- Eat. Sweat. Blog.:
- Flog
- See all feats for Eat. Sweat. Blog.
- Other Feats:
- Hula Hoop
- Cartwheel
- A Day of Silence
- Alt.Healthy.Fast
- Spot Turn
- Moonwalk
- Bench Your Weight
- Juggle
- Sing
- Plank Personal
- Wheel Pose
- Underwater Swim
- 2009 Feats of Summer 50 Workout Challenge
- Commuting Meditation
- Group Fitness Class Sampler
- Chinups
- Handstand by 20
- Situps
- Pushups
- Free Throws
- See all feats
Ready? Set? Dance!
So Yahoo launched a web program called Ready? Set? Dance! not too long ago, and coincidentally one of my friends is on it!
Poet Laureate
McSmack Milkshakes
This probably won’t come as a surprise to anyone, but it turns out that the milkshake bringing all the boys to the yard keeps those boys coming back for more, and more, until their appetites are only appeased when the streets flow with the chocolate blood of a thousand leaky Frosties... Which is to say, junk food is addictive. Like drugs.
Poet Laureate
The Price of a Nutritionist
At the “Health and Wellness Fair” my company recently sponsored, I had the opportunity to briefly meet nutritionist Robyn Youkilis, who agreed to have a half-hour phone meeting with me the following day. 24 hours later, I found myself in my office lobby, discussing my erratic sleeping habits and the quality of my, er, gastrointestinal system as my coworkers glanced and frowned at me while they walked in and out of the office. I learned a few things, like gluten can be the culprit behind my insomnia and inability to focus, followed immediately up with that there’s actually good-tasting gluten-free beer. (My nutritionist knows me so well and she’s not even my nutritionist!) After our talk, though, came the pitch: for $297 a month I too could have a nutritionist! Wait, what?
Poet Laureate
The “Health and Wellness Fair" at Work
Every year the company I work for hosts a “Health and Wellness Fair,” opening the glass doors to our offices and allowing vendors to come and hawk their health wares and services. It’s been a bit of a joke at the office since the lady with the wolfberry concoction hospitalized one of our copyeditors with a free sample, but this year I thought I’d give it a shot and peruse the conference-room-turned-health-flea-market for something besides an ambulance ride. A sneak peek into corporate “wellness” after the jump!
Poet Laureate
Stinky Feet Man
About a year ago, I posted something about how much my gymed-up foot sweat made my shoes stink, thus coining the now oft-quoted phrase “situ-all-funked-up.” What I didn’t post, however, was how much I absolute love my electric blue kicks and I never want to be apart from them even if they have cartoon green wavy stench lines oozing out of them. They’ve spent this past year coffined in a plastic grocery bag and crammed in the corner of my bookshelf-turned shoeshelf. Call me crazy, but I’ve been hoping and praying that some sort of shoe funk-killer would present itself. And, well, it has. For, like, 260 bucks.
Poet Laureate
Ladies in the Gents Locker Room
If you haven’t heard, Ines Sainz is the latest in a string of female reporters to be sexually harassed while on the job. I can’t speak for what was said to her—because, well, I can’t find anything except she was “called out”—but since the verbal part of the incident took place in the Jets locker room, I think it raises a decent question: should female reporters be allowed in men’s locker rooms? I understand many post-game interviews take place there, but it’s also where athletes, you know, get naked. Thoughts after the jump.
Poet Laureate
Pumpkin Attacks Fat: A Halloween Service Announcement
Because I’ve seen “red light district” versions of witches, nurses, Dorothy, Power Puff Girls, Sarah Palin, dogs, cats, and, once, an extraordinarily inappropriate yet somehow sexy bumble bee, I understand that Halloween is the one night many ladies can show a little playful leg, burn their inhibitions up in a jack-o-lantern, and, er, make out with Batman. For the dudes, we can Velcro our muscles on, leer as much as we like, lead the way through haunted houses or have a brilliant conversation with Master Chief over the hot-ice-laced Halloween punch. The point is, 47 days until Halloween! The time to start cooking up your costume is NOW.
Right now you might be thinking, “Mohawk, thanks, you’re awesome, but, I mean, what the hell does this have to do with a health website?” And to you I say: unless you’re throwing a bag over yourself and going as a “bag,” your body plays an integral part of your costume! So here are some helpful suggestions for how to bring your best when slipping into that fishnet body stocking, you sexy thang.
Poet Laureate
The Awesome White House Dance Party
Michelle Obama is glorious. We all admire Obama arms, and most of us agree she’s some kind of fashion icon, at times daring, at times over the top, or sometimes a little too obsessed with J Crew. Whatever the case, there’s a country-wide admiration for Jackie O. 2.0, and I’m celebrating her further for her stake in America’s health. Yeah, she’s had some diet news buzzing about her, and is campaigning against childhood obesity… but even cooler than that is the White House Dance Party she threw Tuesday. And more are planned! How awesome is that? No word on whether the president got into fits of the Macarena, but I hope, for everyone’s sake, he fist bumped (or, if you’re FOX, “terrorist fist-jabbed”) the White House dance guests SUPER CR3W.
Poet Laureate
Spotted at Fort Greene Park: Archie Comics Bully or MacGyver Workout Machine?
At Fort Greene Park, incapacitated by a stomach full of salmon quiche and mimosas, teetering between napping and amiable chatter. It's 2pm, and the sunny, cool day is like the season’s gift to students: a final, blissful Sunday to romp through the world before school starts and they're once again manacled to schedules, homework, and school lunches. For me, it’s a peaceful day with friends that’ll unroll into a workless labor day Monday, until one of my friends squawks in astonishment: “Is that guy squatting his girlfriend???”
Poet Laureate
Down With Moobs
At Rehoboth beach this weekend, I had the chance to soak up some sun, crack open a couple of crab legs, rediscover the intestinal destruction that is butter dipping sauce, and skip in the sand like I was mentally-channeling/chasing a bikini-clad, beach-going Dorothy. Unfortunately, the ratio of varicose-mapped bodies and jiggly puffs to “fun and fits” was about 17 to 1. (Yes, I counted. C’mon Amurrica!) The WORST, though, was this one fairly normally looking bloke chilling beneath an umbrella, who stood up suddenly and had moobs dangling so low they grazed his waistline, like well-used udders brushing the grass.
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Workout
I Stole My Turf Shoes from Hermes
Yesterday my company won its second soccer game this season. Also, I finally got to rock my silver turf shoes, which embrace the turf like lovers reuniting. No slipping, no sliding, no tumbling into the pebbly spray of recycled tires coating the field, which, thankfully, means no turf rash. Awesome.
Workout
Played Soccer Yesterday
Played company soccer yesterday, I'm very excited about the season, and very much in pain right now. I finally bought some turf shoes, which, by the way, are silver and yellow. I'm hoping they'll help prevent me from falling on my ass so much. Speaking of my ass, I did a few slide tackles and I think bruised the hell out of it. Turf is not tush friendly.
Workout
Conventions and Conferences and Catching Up
I've been going non-stop since Thursday... starting with late night karaoke, then going upstate for a poetry convention, then back home Sunday to rest and pack, then to DC for a cancer meeting for work and to hopefully sign some books.
Workout
While Your Were Sleeping
Midnight. You're cuddled up in your covers, sleeping the night away. Me? I'm on the pull up bar as the clock rolls over from 11:59, doing my first one-armed chin-up.
10 minutes done and down, bitches.
999,990 more to go.
Workout
Hmm... Crunchy Gym Time
I've never wonered why 'Crunch' was called 'Crunch' until about 2 seconds ago. This is a complete tangent... but is it based on the exercise? Biting into a stale protein bar? Then why is their logo a fist? Is it the crunch of knocking someone's teeth out? I speak from experience--it's not a very crunchy event.
Workout
You Philly Me, Dog?
I spent the weekend traipsing through Philly on foot for hours on end. Eventually, I reached the Philly Museum steps, of Rocky fame, and rather than bolt up them and dance with my arms in the air, I sat on my ass and ate a Cadbury egg and watched other people bolt up the steps and dance with their arms in the air. It was kinda cute :)
Workout
Got Creamed Last Night
The worst thing about company volley ball is that I can't necessarily pick the time, day, or place we play. Yesterday our game was on the Upper East Side, far, far from Brooklyn, and started at 9:15. With our time slotted for an hour, and then schlepping back into Brooklyn like a no-sleep Beastie Boy, I didn't end up slipping under my covers until sometime after 12:30.
Workout
Keep Your Chin Up
Last time my roommate came back from California, he brought a suitcase of fight, so to speak. MMA gloves, shin pads, helmets, and a few mat rags that lead to a somewhat intoxicated night of punching my cousin in the head as he whined “I don’t have insurance!!!” and the eventual loss of part of one of my fake teeth. (Some were broken in church a few years ago. Don’t ask.)
Workout
Ol' Miss is missing some weight, and a workout
First off, THIS is cool. I'm down for health awareness in government, and Mississippi lawmakers have started working out together, and in the past few months collectively shed 1,300 pounds! Nice.
Workout
Oof
What do you mean 'Oof' is not an exciting title? Girl, watch yoself.
K, what did I do this weekend? I went to Rodeo bar. There was some ass smackery. No joke, zuzupetals's bottom bruised my hand while she laughed maniacally. There were margaritas and workout people and evidently a very hilarious but bloody cab ride to Brooklyn.
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New Muay Thai Class at Crunch Lafayette
I finally went to this class. It's taught Weds, 7:15-8:15 nights, and hasn't been made public yet. I've taken several classes, and worked with this trainer personally... though now I have his name confused, as I think it's Caleb, but his coworkers don't seem to reconize that name.
? So, skinny dudes procrastinate 3 times less than skinny women? Does that explain the 3:1 ratio on SW?
hehe...
Posted in response to: BMI Linked To Time Wasting At Work
I agree with spin on this one. The government shouldn't be willing to pay for something terrible for its people.
Posted in response to: No Food Stamps For Soda?
It's just another sensational tactic... sorta like what the Democrats used to win the presidency, and what the GOP is doing now. Criticizing another group, in this day and age, seems to translate into some positive authority, ie, "These people suck" also carries the meaning "I don't suck." It's a stupid, shallow tactic, but in our blip-minded media it can have a lot of heft to anyone not reading closely.
On top of that, magazines are going doooooooooown, and a large chunk of their readership is flocking to bloggers that share readers' struggles and elements of their lives, whereas magazines are still milling out personality-less fluffs of articles that recycle the same dieting trends and continue to subtly enforce that people, particularly women, need to be thin to be happy. MC achieved the sensational, probably amped up its readership, and brought into focus the possible criticisms for health bloggers all in one move.
Posted in response to: Are Fitness Blogs Bad For Your Health?
I think SocialWorkout is a good example of "it takes all kinds" when discussing health/fitness blogs.
I'm going to think on this. I still think blog snapshots of your 3pm 17-almonds-snack are weird, though.
Posted in response to: Are Fitness Blogs Bad For Your Health?
A joke??? You mean like sandpaper g-strings???? Never heard of 'em ;)
Posted in response to: The “Health and Wellness Fair" at Work
I was told my BP was probably high BECAUSE of the fried chicken and whiskey. And that it was only 4 points high.
How would yoga decrease my BP? Haven't you realized yoga irritates me more than a sandpaper g-string?
Posted in response to: The “Health and Wellness Fair" at Work
What the hell are they defining as overweight?? 2/3s of Americans are not overweight, that's absurd. According to that graph, roughly half the western world is overweight. B.S. This stuff really ticks me off; it's no different than manipulating an image to make the body in the image look skinnier and more "beautiful" than it naturally is.
Posted in response to: The Weight Graph Doesn't Look So Good
While yoga class might be inappropriate for a liberal diatribe, I'm hesitant to jump on the "politics belong here and not here" wagon. Politics are everywhere! It's weird in yoga class, sure, but is it any weirder than legislation segregating the homosexual part of our population and deciding what women can do with their bodies? I would say no.
And while I think "I'm right and you're wrong" is generally a terrible approach to life and logic, I applaud any liberal that employs decisive rhetoric. This whole "I can see where you're coming from" softens what's ultimately a logical, moral, and necessary argument: gays should be allowed the freedom to be gay, women can do what they want with their bodies, etc.
Posted in response to: Politics and Yoga?
Ugh, I hate descriptions like that. It tells me nothing, and is only interesting because I'm curious as to how they'll work out my forehead muscles, among all the other ones.
Also, pardon the pun over-analyzing, but isn't "simmering" by definition not "hot" and thus not "hawt?"
Posted in response to: SoulDance May or May Not Involve SoulCycles
1. Did I dream up an anti-Obama fitness post yesterday, or has it been deleted??
2. Let's be honest: if you're going to do something, do something RIGHT. I'm disappointed in this, I don't see how it's going to appeal to anyone, much less someone who doesn't work out anyway. I don't think there's an 'E' for effort in the battle against obesity and inactivity.
Posted in response to: The President's Challenge Arrives In My Inbox, And Is Sadly, Kinda Lame
mcheerio--I suppose what's really getting me riled up is the misandry this involves: in short, if a woman says she was sexually harassed, then she must have been sexually harassed. That is complete BS. Since you're being a bit of a literalist with your comments, note that I understand you didn't say this, but also understand (like "calling out to someone") there are implications in what you say.
Inez herself said she wouldn't have done anything about it if not pressured by a women's interest group (the link's in the article, it's the video interview). We don't know if this is something she's tolerated before, encouraged before, ignored before, or what--we. don't. know. To just automatically stick with her side of the story, no matter how vague it is, is completely absurd. We're talking about someone who in the past has let football players carry her around to take photo ops. I'd say that's not professional at all.
And "calling out to someone" just sounds stupid, even my great grandma would roll her eyes. It's upsetting that people rally to her defense without even considering how she may have contributed to the situation in the first place. Oh, and let me repeat: Professional, locker room setting? Ha!
Posted in response to: Ladies in the Gents Locker Room
Ha, after reading your comment I tried... you're right, it's not light activity, but damn it's not easy on the tongue.
Also, looks like I'll be in Philly pretty much every weekend next month. We should hang.
Posted in response to: Sweat By The Numbers
See, and I think this blanket "Men should be proper and polite at all times and anywhere" is total BS. It's a locker room, not a governor's ball, or, as you say, a professional setting.
And "verbally ask for that kind of attention?" You've got to be kidding. But, if you're not, I'd love to hear an example where a woman asks for someone to, er, "call out to her," which to me still sounds like a Bieber lyric about asking someone to prom.
Posted in response to: Ladies in the Gents Locker Room
I love the namby pamby yogi comments below. Paraphrasing: "I have been teaching yoga for years, and when I have one of those OMG moments I see how I can turn it back to myself."
Er, right lady/mister. I'm glad you can find meaning in tar heels or men sweating through white biker shorts.
Yoga. Pshaw.
Posted in response to: Bad Yoga Behavior — Instructors Dish The Dirt
does saying 'troublingly' 3 times fast count as light activity?
Posted in response to: Sweat By The Numbers
Actually, that's kind of a cool, fitnerd fact. I wonder if they can manipulate the body's need to burn calories too?
Posted in response to: Overeating Stops Your Brain From Working Properly
By which I think she means "a baby-shaped bun in the womb-shaped oven."
Posted in response to: My body is freaking the hell out. Cannon hands!
Holy crap how did I miss this post??? hahaha.
Personally, I'm all about being on team panties (not that I wear them, but I hope you do) because, well, ew, I don't want to have an existential germs-on-the-gym-seat moment when parking it on a weight bench previously occupied by a female.
Then again, VPL is kinda distracting.
But, so is an obvious spandex commando.
Shit, I'm having an existential moment right now.
Posted in response to: In Defense Of Underpants
I once tried to write a bakery sex scene for a movie. Lots of sugar and flour.
Sorry you're lonely. We should have a Skype party.
Posted in response to: Can Women Coach Football?
I think she could do it, albeit while struggling against stereotyping. But, I alos think there's an appropriate grain of incredulity here. I'm not sure what an alternative example would be, where a man leads a team in a female-dominated sport.
CJ: I'm rooting for her too.
msh: HEY HOW'S GERMANY?!?! I think Randolph's convinced enough people to give her a shot, but not overcoming the bias of a team's leader... damn, that's a blow...
sandy: I actually don't know her credentials off hand, but I think she's equipped with football know-how already. But, yeah, blank feminism is sexist in its own right, and a regular source of manly eye-rolling. And you couldn't follow the etymology of 'pederast'? I'm so latin.
Posted in response to: Can Women Coach Football?
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on 14 years 31 weeks ago by Mr. Mohawk