Silence is a virtue, virtue is a grace, put it all together and you make a happy face

Ok, so, the phrase I knew as a kid was actually "patience" rather than "silence" I feel they go hand in hand with this feat (my mothers daily ritual when we were kids was to state this phrase to my brother and I as we hopped up and down begging for cookies or money for a pinata or something very precocious). See, my soul feat was on letting the city and my surroundings bring me patience and understanding while being silent.

This is not an easy thing to do in my life. I originally started off thinking I could give myself an hour a day to sit silently, then I shortened that to 45 minutes, and then the first day decided it could be 15 minute segments throughout the day when I realized I roll out of bed and rarely slow down for longer than a 15 minute increment, a simple issue of have a full time job, a side craft business, and other tasks such as organizing a pin up photo shoot.

So the 15 minutes worked. Monday I even waited through 3 trains on my way into work in order to just keep listening to the rhythm of pedestrians whizzing past. One thing I learned, tired kids in the morning are hilarious to watch. They look like their joints are made of jello and their shoulders get so low that their backpacks fall off.

I went for a few walks at lunch and stood on street corners listening to the business men and woman on smoke breaks or doing sorted business deals between meetings. This was just stressful to me.

When in the office, I would turn my chair to where the windows are and through some partners door crack I could get a glimpse of sunlight. I would listen to the key boards clicking, the phones ringing, and the weird conversations going on throughout the office (specifically recalling the very nasally Brooklyn accent guy who kept saying something about financial statements that sounded like "assfarts"). I can't say this was very peaceful, a moment I learned my soul isn't comfortable in the gray schemed horribly designed office space I have to reside in Monday through Friday from 9 to 5.

The best moment for me though came on Ash Wednesday. I had one of those days where I didn't feel like I took a breath needless to say got up to use the restroom. So when 5:45 rolled around I ran out of there to hit up Trinity Church in order to get some ashes before they stopped. I had originally wanted to go to mass but that wasn't happening. This is when I also realized I had mistaken Trinity Church for a Catholic church as soon as I saw a woman on the altar. Its been several years since I went to an Episcopal Church so this was a nice little surprise for me. I sat in the back to observe only having 30 minutes before I had to leave for dinner with friends. 45 minutes later I was so relaxed in the corner I was contemplating deserting dinner and just staying to listen the beautiful choir. I really fell deep into my thoughts in that hour I was there, it was peaceful and refreshing.

The majority of this soul searching really just showed me how I need to slow down, even if it is for just 15 minutes at a time, or a few seconds, to notice the mother with the huge stroller staring painfully at the 3 flights of subway stairs and offering assistance. I, like many these days, get so caught up in the getting where I need to go that I lose sight of what I am passing.

So for my soul feat I feel I fell in love with being slow, even if it were for only a few minutes.



beautiful!  and i'm glad you made it to dinner, it wouldn't have been the same without you.

sandyliz's picture

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