Boob Tube

Boob Tube

von Hottie's Zombie Apocalypse Guide to Fitness

There is nothing like watching a zombie apocalypse on the television to remind me that it's been awhile since I've been friendly with the elliptical. Watching AMC's new show The Walking Dead this past weekend, while walking, I realized that you'd have to be super fit and beautiful to survive a zombie attack.

AMC's The Walking Dead
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Boob Tube

Giuliana & Bill Make All Their Big Life Decisions While Engaging In Sports Popular In The 90's

If television is a cultural barometer, what can we learn about health and well-being from our regular viewing? von Hottie presents a totally unscientific sampling of the health and fitness "wisdom" she gleaned this week from a random selection of television shows. WARNING: spoiler alerts and weird substitutes for alcohol ahead.

  • Giuliana & Bill: Last season, G & B tried to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. This season, they are considering IVF, so of course they go rollerblading to discuss this major life decision. They also take a morning constitutional on the beach to discuss how much Giuliana needs a new assistant — she's so busy she doesn't have time to eat breakfast before their power walk! Bill says she needs to get an assistant ASAP because she doesn't need any more stress while they try to conceive. They decide on IVF and, oh my giant ovaries, they have to pick up five large shopping bags of hormones and medications from the fertility doctor! Giuliana's mom comes into town to make sure Giuliana doesn't take any business calls and to feed Giuliana a lot of pasta. Luckily, everything goes well and the IVF works! 

More dirt on (un)healthy living in 30 Rock and Mad Men after the jump.

Giuliana & Bill
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Boob Tube

ABC Network's Health Advice Is Erratic, Taye Diggs Takes A Bubble Bath

If television is a cultural barometer, what can we learn about health and well-being from our regular viewing? von Hottie presents a totally unscientific sampling of the health and fitness "wisdom" she gleaned this week from a random selection of television shows. WARNING: spoiler alerts and multiple ABC shows ahead.

  • My Generation, Series Premiere: Is it possible for an entire generation to subsist on misery? This show, filmed as a documentary drama, catches up with a group of high school students ten years after graduation. Everyone is miserable and they either got pregnant on prom night, are pregnant now but their spouse is in Iraq, or they're infertile. Steven Foster, the over-achiever-turned-bartender, spends a lot of time drinking, picking up chicks and surfing. The surfing doesn't seem to have improved his emotional health, since he won't visit his father in jail and avoids meeting the son he conceived on prom night. These people should really start working out - they have some serious baggage they need to sweat out.
Taye Diggs
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It's Over For von Hottie And Don Draper, But There's Still Hope For Kate Gosselin

If television is a cultural barometer, what can we learn about health and well-being from our regular viewing? von Hottie presents a totally unscientific sampling of the health and fitness "wisdom" she gleaned this week from a random selection of television shows. WARNING: spoiler alerts and broken hearts ahead.

  • Bridezillas: Holy unbalanced! This past episode of Bridezillas featured Bride Gloria, who makes Glee's Sue Sylvester look like Fraulein Maria. Gloria, mad that her bridesmaids threw a shower at winery when she doesn't drink, broke out a scale and made her bridesmaids weigh themselves in front of all the guests!
Kate
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sassletics82 said "

Spinache AND strawberries...wild.

" More comments...

Boob Tube

Like An Angel From Heaven, Don Draper's New Health Kick Will Save Us All

I'm not going to lie, people. The TV fitness landscape has been so bleak, I was thinking of just declaring health bankruptcy and starting over next week. The Real Housewives of D.C. seem to be responsible for 95% of the world's chardonnay consumption and 100% of the world's cattiness. Even though fairy blood seems to be some kind of sunscreen for the vampires of True Blood, the season finale last night made a major case for advanced sun protection. Watching all that skin peel off, I was indoors at 10 p.m. and I still didn't feel like I was in enough shade. Ew. Another lesson learned from True Blood: don't do drugs. You'll just end up shooting your Uncle Daddy and leaving a hot but ditzy fake cop in charge of all of your kin folk. I did see a re-run of Modern Family wherein patriarch Jay takes the family to Hawai'i for his birthday (holla!), realizes he's the same age his father was when he died, gives up cheeseburgers and booze, but then throws out his back overdoing it with exercise. Some improvement, but still, I was losing faith in family television.

But all was not lost!

Mad Men
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sassletics82 said "

journaling! wowzers. he's so silk road next episode!

" More comments...

Boob Tube

Little People Are In Better Shape Than Jackie Warner's Clients

If television is a cultural barometer, what can we learn about health and well-being from our regular viewing? von Hottie presents a totally unscientific sampling of the health and fitness "wisdom" she gleaned this week from a random selection of television shows. WARNING: spoiler alerts and a mild tolerance of alcoholism ahead.

  • The Closer: Like everyone else in L.A., it appears the cops of the L.A.P.D. do not eat. Or exercise. Or drink coffee, even. How are these people even alive? Is Kyra Sedgwick a robot in pink clothing?
Little People, Big World
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Online & Video

sassletics82 said "

underwater scale. that's wild!!! thanx for the cliff notes to tv and ..." More comments...

Boob Tube

"Huge" Season Finale, or Is ABC Family Trying to Kill Our Children?

Until the last two minutes of the season finale, I've been enjoying the first season of Huge, the ABC Family show about a group of teenagers at a summer weightloss camp. Now I want all ten hours of my life back....

"Huge"  (Via ABC Family)
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sassletics82 said "

Oh jeez....it's hard being a teen!

" More comments...

Boob Tube

The Real Housewives: Poster Children for America's Health?

If television is a cultural barometer, what can we learn about health and well-being from our regular viewing? von Hottie presents a totally unscientific sampling of the health and fitness "wisdom" she gleaned this week from a random selection of television shows. WARNING: spoiler alerts and reverse sexism ahead.

  • True Blood: Fairy blood is the new vitamin D and provides vampires with an SPF of about a million. Also, If I really want to improve my athleticism and up my aerial silks game, I should really shoot back some "V" (vampire blood). This show is awesome, but none of it is helpful in real life.
  • Mad Men: Oh, Don Draper. So many "miscellaneous minutes" to log, so little time. In The Sixties, Don Draper is super hot, but since he smokes so much and has an alcohol to water ratio of 10:1, if you met him now, he'd look oddly yellow, have no teeth, and be making deals through his electronic voice box.
Skinny Italian (via Bravo)
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Online & Video

sassletics82 said "

I'm going to have to watch TV in order to keep up with your writing. ..." More comments...



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