Buns of Steal

Revenge is Sweat-y!

It's all tied up! Equinox: 1. Buns of Steal 1. 

Loyal B.O.S. readers will recall that I was once kicked out of Equinox when the authorities caught me shamelessly sampling a Columbus Circle location after I had already used a guest pass at 96th street. That was back when the media was all over me, and, needless to say, the haters ate it up. This didn't bother so much, as I basked in all the additional blog traffic. But I did think my days at Equinox were over. That was, until my friend R. showed up....

As a legit, paying member at Evil Equinox, R. gets a certain annual quota of free guest passes, one of which R. offered to me.

I was hesitant. I mean, what if they run my name and find me again? Getting escorted out isn't exactly fun. Plus, what if by this point they have a big "wanted" poster with my face on it at the front desk!? But B.O.S. is not one to shrink from danger of this sort, and I felt the odds were in my favor. After all, a "Guest Pass" is certainly distinct from a "Free Pass," and I figured they might not even use the same database. So, I filled out the internet form and was immediately contacted by Paul, a membership director.

"Come in!" said Paul. Right.

I walk into the gym and, first thing's first: The front desk, and a little, clipboarded info form to fill out. This is where I got busted last time. I fill in the fields, avoid eye contact, and quickly scoot into Pauls membership office. Safety!

We discuss options. I say that I'm a student, and that I'm going to Paris in December, but that I'm looking to join a gym once I return: all true. He says: "As part of our promo, you get November free. So, why don't you just get a membership for November, and then you can just cancel in December, and you've got a free month!"


I love a devious sales rep., and his offer is tempting. It would be sweet revenge for my undignified exit last time around. But one mustn't gloat. I laugh and thank him, and opt instead to activate my three day pass. Exiting his office, I shoot another look at the front desk check-in people. They're busy shuffling papers. It seems I've gone unnoticed.


For the ongoing adventures of Buns of Steal, an impoverished but equally resourceful law student in New York City hoping to make it through 2010 without ever paying for a gym membership, visit "Buns of Steal."




Have you tried Tabata yet?

spindig's picture

Once, in the hamptons. would love to try again, though. Where do I do it?

Julia N.'s picture

In my five day trial at EQ in SF last May, i tried it twice (and it obliterated me both times). So I assume it's on all the Equinox schedules. I'm conflicted about Crunch not picking it up. Do I really want to kill myself or feel guilty about not killing myself on a regular basis?

spindig's picture

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