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Giuliana & Bill Make All Their Big Life Decisions While Engaging In Sports Popular In The 90's

If television is a cultural barometer, what can we learn about health and well-being from our regular viewing? von Hottie presents a totally unscientific sampling of the health and fitness "wisdom" she gleaned this week from a random selection of television shows. WARNING: spoiler alerts and weird substitutes for alcohol ahead.

  • Giuliana & Bill: Last season, G & B tried to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. This season, they are considering IVF, so of course they go rollerblading to discuss this major life decision. They also take a morning constitutional on the beach to discuss how much Giuliana needs a new assistant — she's so busy she doesn't have time to eat breakfast before their power walk! Bill says she needs to get an assistant ASAP because she doesn't need any more stress while they try to conceive. They decide on IVF and, oh my giant ovaries, they have to pick up five large shopping bags of hormones and medications from the fertility doctor! Giuliana's mom comes into town to make sure Giuliana doesn't take any business calls and to feed Giuliana a lot of pasta. Luckily, everything goes well and the IVF works! 

More dirt on (un)healthy living in 30 Rock and Mad Men after the jump.

  •  30 Rock Live Show, East Coast: Jack vows to give up liquor while his fiancee, Avery, is pregnant. This reminds Liz Lemon of the time she gave up refined sugars and turned into Julia Louise Dreyfus. Jenna tries to get a prescription for Ecstasy. Jack misses liquor so much he starts sniffing paint, but don't worry, because by the end of the episode, he gets to have a drink with Liz. Everyone forgets Liz Lemon's birthday party and turns the surprise party for the cleaning lady into a party for Liz, where they eat a giant cake. This show was really funny when I watched it, but now that I'm trying to tell you about it, it sounds like I was sniffing paint, too.
  • Mad Men, Season Finale: Don gets away to California where he swims in the pool with his children/secretary, Megan. Awww, family quality time with physical activity! Don and Megan get quite a bit more QT, if you know what I mean. The kids get milkshakes at a diner (Yum!) and accidentally spill it on Megan (uh oh) but she's not mad (so zen!). Back in New York, Don takes a meeting with the American Cancer Society, who are interested in having him run their ad campaign after he swore off representing tobacco companies in a big ad in the NY Times. It's pretty depressing when the board of the ACS reveal that half of them are smokers. Don proposes to Megan, and when Joan (who's secretly pregnant) and Peggy find out, they have an awesome scene (yay) while smoking (boo), making fun of the men, and acknowledging their workaholicism. "I learned long ago never to get all my satisfaction in life from this job, "Joan quips while taking a puff. "Bullshit," returns Peggy. Grown Ass Women are awesome, smoking is not.

Giving up liquor while sniffing paint and smoking while being funny won't lengthen or improve your life, so even though all of their fitness seems to be contrived for the cameras, I give Giuliana and Bill the Fit and Beautiful Family Quality Time Award for this week.

Giuliana & Bill

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